it was funny, because it happened when i was wearing long-ish, loose athletic shorts and my big derek jeter t shirt.
i was dripping with sweat in the "advanced conditioning" work out class.
i looked into the mirrror. and i swear God said.. "Carlie. my child.. you are beautiful."
it hit me like, BAM.
i am beautiful.
it was a pretty darn good feeling.
it's funny.. feeling beautiful.
it really is a fleeting thing, isn't it?
beauty.
it means so much to a girl, to be beautiful.
i think often times we look for beauty in all the wrong places.
we try to be beautiful by living up to the world's standards.
well you know who sets those standards?
the world.
so many times you hear.. "man looks at the outside, but God judges by a man's heart". (stuff like that)
which is soooo true.
but at the same time,
the argument that often pops into my head is
well.. it doesn't matter cuz i am living in the world.
i can try to focus on God's standards,
but everybody else is looking at me through the world's standards!
and to be honest, i'm not really sure how to fix this way of thinking all the time.
sometimes i feel like i can,
but i am never really all that successful in keeping thoughts like this away.
God is still growing me in this way.
but i think i am starting to grasp the true idea of beauty.
beauty in a whole other sense,
but beauty in it's truest most actual sense.
i think beauty could kind of be related to salvation,
in a way.
beauty is a whole disposition. it is an attitude, a proper view of self that a child of God has.
as a child of God, i should view myself as a daughter of the King.
because of that, it is as though he has taken away all of the ugliness that penetrates us in our human condition. He has rescued me from all of that and has instead soaked me in His righteousness and His robes of grace and of mercy.
if for no other reason i am beautiful, i can still say that i am beautiful because my Lord has taken away all of that ugliness. He has rescued me from the vulgarity of sin. He has cleansed my unrighteousnesses that were as filthy, dirt-soaked rags. (what could be more ugly than that?) He has filled my voided darkness with His beautiful light and His glory. He has refreshed me, given me rest, and blessed me (so incredibly) with His riches.
i am beautiful because the Lord of ALL has made me beautiful. when He saved me from my sin, He made me beautiful. He declared me righteous, and therefore beautiful. He Himself.. His glorious, majestic self, is living inside of me. therefore i MUST be beautiful. because surely He is the most beautiful thing to have ever existed.
this beauty is only here through the personal intercession of Christ in my life. i don't exactly know how to explain it. it is a feeling. it is a truth. it is a whole new state of mind. a change. it is life. it is a disposition. it is security. it is hope. it is more relevant than anything i have ever known. it is this whole, great big idea that cannot even be put into words.
as much as i really want to be able to explain it, i can't. how to explain beauty.. how could i ever explain all the wonders and majesties of Christ my Lord?
it cannot be done.
but that is beauty. TRUE BEAUTY comes from Jesus Christ. and i need to accept that, every single day, no matter how i feel.
to be honest, it doesn't really matter how i feel.
it truthfully does not matter what the world says to me or about me.
it does not matter how many lies the devil tries to bombard me with.
God has made me beautiful.
He says that i am beautiful, and that is all that really matters.
thank You, Jesus, for making me beautiful. thanking You for clothing me in Your righteousness, and covering me with Your majesty. my words cannot even describe to You my gratitude. Lord, i am coming to you with thanksgiving. i praise You, Jesus. help me to know that i am beautiful because You are beautiful, and You are dwelling inside of me. help me to see myself the way that You see me Father, and please help other girls to see that too. God please help this world to see that true beauty can only come from You. i praise You, Father. and in Your Most High and Precious Name, amen. <3
(i wrote this a few months ago, but never posted it on here. i pray that it may be an encouragement to you.)
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