meeting God at a Switchfoot concert =] (a story of redemption..)

so last night i saw Switchfoot. and this is a little bit of what happened in my heart :]

God, thank You for meeting me where I was at last night. You met me with an environment filled with hope. It was so tangible, I could feel it soaking the air. It was beautiful =] You reminded me of redemption. And You told me to get up out of my brokenness, and You dared me to move. You told me that You were raising the dead in me. You reminded me of the place that You've already brought me from. You told me that You would heal me and redeem me again! And give me life! You're raising the dead in me =] All of this here on earth is temporal. It will soon be gone. I need to remember that and take joy in the fact that these problems and these trials will not go one forever. It is all but a vapor. Thank You for that =] You've reminded me of the meaning of life. It's drenched with redemption and hope and love and You. It's about being set free from our filthiness and brokenness, and being truly alive in You! That is what this time here on earth is for. Thank You for giving me hope. Thank You for being my hope and everything that is good. Thank You for meeting me in my brokenness, and for freeing me last night =]

i praise You, Father God! thank You for speaking to me in the most unique way You have ever spoke to me. i am rejoicing in You, Lord! i give You all the honor and glory.

amen =]


Psalm 40:1-3a
"I waited patiently for the LORD;
He inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God."

Jacky Jay Jay :)

yeah you and your heart
shouldn't feel so far apart.
you can choose what you take.
why you gotta break and make it feel so hard?

~to the sea
by Jack Johnson



the new Jack Johnson = AMAZING!!! :)

..

i miss your chocolate almond eyes..

i feel beautiful.

i felt beautiful, today. which i think means a lot, considering the way my week has been going.
it was funny, because it happened when i was wearing long-ish, loose athletic shorts and my big derek jeter t shirt.
i was dripping with sweat in the "advanced conditioning" work out class.
i looked into the mirrror. and i swear God said.. "Carlie. my child.. you are beautiful."
it hit me like, BAM.
i am beautiful.

it was a pretty darn good feeling.

it's funny.. feeling beautiful.
it really is a fleeting thing, isn't it?

beauty.
it means so much to a girl, to be beautiful.
i think often times we look for beauty in all the wrong places.
we try to be beautiful by living up to the world's standards.
well you know who sets those standards?
the world.

so many times you hear.. "man looks at the outside, but God judges by a man's heart". (stuff like that)
which is soooo true.
but at the same time,
the argument that often pops into my head is
well.. it doesn't matter cuz i am living in the world.
i can try to focus on God's standards,
but everybody else is looking at me through the world's standards!

and to be honest, i'm not really sure how to fix this way of thinking all the time.
sometimes i feel like i can,
but i am never really all that successful in keeping thoughts like this away.
God is still growing me in this way.

but i think i am starting to grasp the true idea of beauty.
beauty in a whole other sense,
but beauty in it's truest most actual sense.

i think beauty could kind of be related to salvation,
in a way.

beauty is a whole disposition. it is an attitude, a proper view of self that a child of God has.
as a child of God, i should view myself as a daughter of the King.
because of that, it is as though he has taken away all of the ugliness that penetrates us in our human condition. He has rescued me from all of that and has instead soaked me in His righteousness and His robes of grace and of mercy.
if for no other reason i am beautiful, i can still say that i am beautiful because my Lord has taken away all of that ugliness. He has rescued me from the vulgarity of sin. He has cleansed my unrighteousnesses that were as filthy, dirt-soaked rags. (what could be more ugly than that?) He has filled my voided darkness with His beautiful light and His glory. He has refreshed me, given me rest, and blessed me (so incredibly) with His riches.

i am beautiful because the Lord of ALL has made me beautiful. when He saved me from my sin, He made me beautiful. He declared me righteous, and therefore beautiful. He Himself.. His glorious, majestic self, is living inside of me. therefore i MUST be beautiful. because surely He is the most beautiful thing to have ever existed.

this beauty is only here through the personal intercession of Christ in my life. i don't exactly know how to explain it. it is a feeling. it is a truth. it is a whole new state of mind. a change. it is life. it is a disposition. it is security. it is hope. it is more relevant than anything i have ever known. it is this whole, great big idea that cannot even be put into words.

as much as i really want to be able to explain it, i can't. how to explain beauty.. how could i ever explain all the wonders and majesties of Christ my Lord?

it cannot be done.

but that is beauty. TRUE BEAUTY comes from Jesus Christ. and i need to accept that, every single day, no matter how i feel.

to be honest, it doesn't really matter how i feel.
it truthfully does not matter what the world says to me or about me.
it does not matter how many lies the devil tries to bombard me with.

God has made me beautiful.

He says that i am beautiful, and that is all that really matters.



thank You, Jesus, for making me beautiful. thanking You for clothing me in Your righteousness, and covering me with Your majesty. my words cannot even describe to You my gratitude. Lord, i am coming to you with thanksgiving. i praise You, Jesus. help me to know that i am beautiful because You are beautiful, and You are dwelling inside of me. help me to see myself the way that You see me Father, and please help other girls to see that too. God please help this world to see that true beauty can only come from You. i praise You, Father. and in Your Most High and Precious Name, amen. <3

(i wrote this a few months ago, but never posted it on here. i pray that it may be an encouragement to you.)

comfort..

how could you be so calm when the truth is sometimes
living in the eye of the storm?
with everything going on around us,
i feel comfort in the sounds when you say
it will be ok..
like a star guiding me to the light of day

same girl
by Jack Johnson

i love rainstorms in VA..

i don't know why, but for some reason, all seems right in the world at this moment.

maybe it's because of the rain. the beautiful green grass that's gracefully eluding the fact that it is currently winter in VA. perhaps it's the balmy 57 degrees at 2 in the morning that is just making everything alright.

perhaps it's because i've had a few encounters with God this weekend that have truly been something remarkable.

perhaps it's due to an answer to a prayer of mine.. a specific, harrowing prayer in which i've pleaded with the Lord for an answer for days. is this where You want me, Lord? is this where i'm supposed to be? i'm not trying to question Your greatness or Your infiniteness. no, i have just been worrying lately. i've been struggling with trusting, dare i say it, You. the Lord of the universe. of course, now that i say it, it sounds rather ridiculous.. but true! God, please let me know. i need to hear from You.

well. i got an answer to that prayer today. multiple answers, to be exact. and i must say. i am feeling the love. i am finally feeling that which i have been longing and needing to feel for so long now. i feel like i belong again.

perhaps it's due to a few sweet emails i have received from some dear friends from both home and abroad that i have recently received.

perhaps it is as simple as watching a movie with a good, happy ending where all resolves and everyone makes it out alive (except, of course, the bad guy. which no one is really rooting for anyway.)

maybe it's a sweet conversation with my brother in which he actually admitting to missing me. (yes, that's right. my cool, smooth, 15-year-old jock brother just admitted to missing me. ha! who would have thought..)

perhaps it's just knowing that i have such a wonderful group of friends who is always there to have my back, joke around, and just have an overall good time.

it might have something to do with the best ex-RA in the world.

it might have something to do with hiding in bathrooms and pretending like we're undercover spies.

maybe it's the promise of a bright and meaningful future serving the most righteous and majestic of Kings.

maybe it's realizing for the first time in a while that life really is just beautiful. and that i am blessed beyond belief. knowing that these people are here to stay. in one way or another, i will always have them. even if they're not always by my side. i will always have them.

that is the beautiful thing.

it's something special when you realize just how meaningful human relationships are. when you see just how much worth every single person really has. when you can look at someone through the eyes of God.. when you can see people for who they are, how God sees them.. it really changes your outlook on life. everyone is just amazing. there is so much beauty out there. so much creativity. so many connections. we are all so intricately woven.. our lives are connected to each other in ways that are absolutely unimaginable. there is no way in denying the beauty of life, and the love that exudes from my beloved Savior through His creations.

i am blessed beyond belief.

i am happy to be alive.

i am excited for the sunrise.

all thanks to the redeeming love of my wonderful, beautiful Savior.